I’m thinking of creating a new greeting card, called a Post Christmas Card, where people take pictures of the melee that the post Christmas lull yields.  You know what I mean, where everybody wears sweat pants and watches crappy TV while the tree rots; its drooping limbs no longer able to support even the lightest ornament.  You stopped watering it a week ago.   It’s still somewhat surrounded by the gifts you’re not going to actually use until mid-February.

You’re still trying to get through the rest of the 20 lb. turkey you thought was such a good idea — all those turkey sandwiches you could make and save yourself some trouble, except nobody wants to eat turkey anymore.  You’ve stopped sneaking into the kitchen to steal stuffing in the middle of the night.  Even you, the Queen of Stuffing, have had enough.

Your daily garbage continues to consist of pieces of wrapping paper, balled up under a chair or stuck in the sofa cushions.   Last night you threw out mashed potatoes that were five days old.  You’re avoiding the rest of the stuff because you’ll have to clean all those re-usable storage containers.   What were you thinking.  Haven’t you heard of throw aways?

Somebody’s gotta get the ladder out to get all those lights down, and climb up to the head of the taxidermy tarpon, (he’s about 7 feet up the wall), to get that stupid Christmas hat off his head.  Poor guy.  Every year he’s gotta wear a Santa hat.  He’s a freaking fish for chrissakes.

It’ll be mid January before you take down the Christmas tree at work.   You’re thinking about just taking off the ormanents and leaving it there as an office plant.  It’s fake anyways, who gives a crap.  Plus, somebody left a poinsettia plant in the bathroom with three leaves on it.  When that thing dies, you’ll think about taking the tree down.

You’ll have to take the home tree down soon though.  The angel tree bitch on the top is listing to the left.  She looks drunk.  She could definitely go on the Post Christmas Card.

Still though, it was a good Christmas.  Everybody laughed.   Everybody gave each other thoughtful gifts.   There was music and good food and joy.  It had all the components that every day should have.  At least we make sure we share them once a year.

I’m not sure why there’s a hospital vomit bag next to the handmade Christmas rocking horse though.   Cuz it’s green?