A year ago this week I flew to Germany to join my daughter and travel around Europe.   It was the most exciting and frightening thing I’ve done.   Just the flight alone — 9-1/2 hours to Frankhurt (hint: buy the mid-level seat upgrade) — was out of the box for a claustrophobic anxiety junky like myself.   I sat next to a guy on the plane who lived part time in Germany.  I told him I’d never flown a transcontinental flight before and I was nervous.  He told me that when he flies he imagines that he’s inside a bus.  I found this extremely comforting imagery and it got me through the flight.

There were a lot of problems on the trip.   In retrospect, I was ill-equipped to plan and execute my own tour of Europe.   My poor daughter was relying on me to be well-informed and in control of our environment, which was not the case.   There were some rough bumps that I regret.

All in all though, it was an education in so many ways.  I think one of the most expansive things I learned is that here in America we live in a bubble of newness.   Our country is a toddler in the spectrum of time.  The buildings in Europe are thousands of years old and have survived bombs, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, fires, wars.   And granted they haven’t survived them all that well, but they’re essentially standing in whole or part.   They were built by hand; by stone masons, carpenters, laborers who spent 40 years building a structure that may not have been completed in their lifetimes.  Those buildings housed emperors and slaves.  They saw animal sacrifices and chariot races.  As you walk through Italy you see the history of the Golden Ages laid out before you.   The cab drivers know the history of Pompeii, that volcanic ash from Mount Vesuvius buried the town until it was discovered and excavated.   My cab driver knew that the people of the neighboring towns nearly survived unscathed but those who were trying to evacuate as Pompeii was swallowed in ash, soon found themselves awash in the second wave of the eruption.

Here at home these days we’re just trying to build modern day homes that can survive tornados and hurricanes.

Anyone who knows me knows that I avoid politics like I avoid red ant mounds.  Life is short enough without having to argue about everything.   I’m a little tore up though about this Paula Deen controversy, and as an avid fan of Paula (we country girls have to stick together) I have always felt a sort of kinship with her.  After all we both love butter and batter and brown sugar.  That said, I feel compelled to say that I’m disappointed in her poor choice of conduct.   There are a lot of people out there in the world using the “n” word, though I’m not one of them.  I do think in certain sections of the country it may be construed by its users as being potentially less offensive than it might be considered in other parts of the country.  Unless you’re black.  I think, if you’re black, it’s just plain offensive.  That’s all there is to it.

And here’s the problem with Paula Deen using it or allowing it to be used in her business:  Paula Deen is not sitting on her sofa being all private and saying whatever she wants to in her living room watching the tube like you and I are.  Paula Deen is a PUBLIC FIGURE — by her own choice BTW.  Her actual audience includes black people, who I don’t think are going to be particularly thrilled to find that they’ve been making Paula Deen’s recipes all these years while she or her partner brother were calling them the “n” word.  And while we’re on the subject:  who decided to call it “the ‘n’ word?”   Is that some way of making an intolerable word tolerable by disguising it?  It’s a horrible word.  It is intended to mean something derogatory.  Let’s be real:  Does anyone ever really say it and intend it to be good?  That Paula would say she used it and didn’t mean anything bad, or that her brother may have used it in her restaurant and she didn’t know, is ridiculous.  It should never be uttered by a person who has been made wealthy by entering the homes of the very people she was degrading.  It should never be tolerated in any of her businesses.   A person who partners with a racist and allows racial epithets in the workplace, is a racist.  She should be profoundly ashamed of herself.  I’m sorry country sister, I have loved you as have we all.  But you have bitten the hand that’s fed you and you deserve to understand what it means to be degraded.   “N” people have been part of making you very wealthy, and you have a social responsibility to own your conduct. You need to go home and figure out how to resurrect your career and be socially conscionable at the same time.  Or just rest on the bounty of the money you’ve made while you were demoralizing the very people who made you who you are.  No sympathy for you Babe.  Enjoy retirement.